ArgT Gives Concession Speech
After a long campaign to seek residence in the White House, Mr. ArgT gave his concession speech tonight. Gathered with his supporters at the local movie theater, he stood behind a formica counter. In a surpisingly chipper mood, he told his supporters: “Popcorn - $11.00; Carbonated Sugar Water - $6.00.”
Mr. ArgT acknowleged that he was in high spirits because his prices let him make huge profits to fund his next campaign. Furthermore, because the crowd was short on singles, the prices let him stand by his campaign promise to “deliver change.”
Mr. ArgT thanked his staff: Media Relations director Arch D. Robison, Campaign Manager Vivian Robison, and “Hoarding for America“ sloganeer Arch S. Robison. Reporters asked whether any of his staff had put words in his mouth to get votes. Mr. ArgT replied that he was as authentic as any of the other candidates.